I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
