so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
