They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
they need to just BURY HIM!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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