the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
