i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He shit in the fireplace
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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