it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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