New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
