The police scanner is talking about you again....
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
did i just pee glitter
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
