I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Even my vagina gasped.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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