this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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