That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
