at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
