I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
