he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
