just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
