I wish i was in the wii world.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
