then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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