im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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