my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
