My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
