Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize