I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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