how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
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He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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