whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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