I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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