my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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