He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
