I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
