When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
