at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
