i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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