HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
