I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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