There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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