She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
