why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize