I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
