Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
