Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
