you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
