Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
