we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
