Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize