btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
