im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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