I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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