I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think I died a long time ago.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
