How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
