Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
