Me too!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
