it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
