what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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