You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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