so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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