Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
