i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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