I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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