but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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