do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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