Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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