Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
